I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize