Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The Olympian is in my bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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