i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
