He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize