So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
