your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just tell him i said nine months
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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