I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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