Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
