now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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