We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize