hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
