somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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