i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
