TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
