I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
