Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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