either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
