i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
