so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
