We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
