Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
