btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
