Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
