I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
