I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
