if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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