a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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