their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
