I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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