I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
