the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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