some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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