you're like a bully in the Christmas story
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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