Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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