You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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