since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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