Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
