it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
