I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
