totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
