i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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