i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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