You work out of a Hotel?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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