You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
