it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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