He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
