You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
