I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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