She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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