Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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