im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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