What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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