High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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