Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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