Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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