we're making bets on your personal life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
