this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
