just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
