Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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