I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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