and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
tell me about the fingering
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