Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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