I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we're making bets on your personal life
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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